TV - Embedded Commercials

The embedded commercials in television shows are getting to a point that is just pathetic and desperate. I'm trying to decide which is the worst offender - Gossip Girl or Bones.


Gossip Girl

So, Gossip Girl is shamelessly plugging bing.com, that search engine that is trying to compete with Google. Here are some of the things they have done:

1. Shown lingering over the shoulder shots of people looking up information on the internet on bing.com. Mildly annoying, but really not much worse than normal product placement.

2. Concocted a situation where te characters needed to find some information quickly. One says, "We'll just look it up on Bing," or something to that effect and sits down at the computer. Three seconds later after some furious typing, he says, "Done!" That one is pretty bad. I mean, if you cut out the 15 seconds of the show where that happened, I'm pretty sure it would be identical to an actual commercial for bing.

3. In the midst of preparing for a fashion show, with all kinds of people running around trying to get things done, the frazzled designer is asked a question. Her response? "Just bing it." Bing. It. As in, look it up on bing.com. As in, they are trying to replace the phrase "google it" with the phrase "bing it." Now THAT is just pathetic. Epic failure on the part of both Gossip Girl and bing.com. Gossip Girl, because it makes me lose respect for the show - not that I had a lot to begin with (though, don't get me wrong, I love the show). Bing.com, because it just reeks of kid brother syndrome. They are trying to force a square peg into a round hole. It would be like Puffs brand facial tissue trying to get people to call all facial tissue "puffs." Just accept that your competitor's name has become the generic term and move on with convincing people that you have the better product. Don't try to take over the generic term! It's just pathetic, and it's not going to work. That ship has sailed, bing.com. People are not going to start saying, "Bing it," when they mean "look it up on the internet." However, if your search engine is really that great and is superior to Google, maybe one day people will say, "Google it on bing."


Bones

So, Bones has been doing ads for Toyota. Mostly out of the mouth of Angela Montenegro. There have only been two glaring incidents.

1. Angela is driving a Toyota Sienna with another character in the car. The other character asks why Angela drives a mini-van (she's not a mom, so it makes no sense, right?). Angela replies that the Sienna has plenty of room for all her art supplies (do art supplies really take up that much room?) and that she is bad at parallel parking, so she likes the rearview camera. It was so jarring I had to pause it and ask my husband whether what I thought had just happened had in fact just happened. And while I generally like the actress who plays Angela, she is terrible at these little mini-commercials, so if they must keep them on the show, I think they should give them to someone else. Maybe no one else will agree to do them.

2. In last night's episode, Angela and Hodgins are driving in a Prius. Hodgins is driving but Angela is showing him something on a camera, I think. He starts to veer out of his land and the car automatically pulls him back into his lane. He says, "Whoa! What happened!?" Angela helpfully points to a littls screen showing to lane lines and tells Hodgins that the Prius helps you stay in your lane. "It's pretty cool," she says. He agrees that it's cool and does it again, prompting a police office to pull him over and ask if he's been drinking. This incident led to Hodgins and Angela being loked up in a jail cell together for an extended period of time in which they realize that they still love each other and before leaving the jail, they get MARRIED. That's right, an embedded Toyota Prius commercial led to a wedding.

So, which is worse? I really can't decide. Telling someone to "Bing it," is pretty ridiculous, but using an embedded commercial as a lame-ass plot device to lead to a wedding is also pretty much unforgivable. Read more!

TV - What is wrong with me?!

Dear "Glee" and "American Idol" - I wish I knew how to quit you!  Why can't I stop watching these terrible shows?!? Read more for my whiny ramblings and my sad prediction for tonight's Idol.

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TV and Book - "Justified"

Due to enthusiastic recommendations from the Dwyer's and Damon Lindelof, I decided to catch up with the new show on FX, Justified.  It is super good!  A little procedural, a lot Western, smirky and engaging.  AND it gives me a new TV boyfriend to help with me with my soon-to-be-enacted Sawyer withdrawal and my enduring Don Draper hiatus heartpangs. 

Because I'm a little OCD, I decided I had to read the short story by Elmore Leonard, "Fire in the Hole," from which the show is based before tuning in.    Funny thing - the pilot episode of "Justified" is just about 95% word-for-word the short story.  Seriously!   I've never seen a truer page-to-screen adaption.  So don't feel like you have to read the story to catch any further insight - although it's certainly well written.  It can be found in Leonard's collection of short stories called "When the Women Come Out to Dance."

And as for "Justified" it's on Tuesday nights at 10pm on FX.   As of this post, we're between episode 6 and 7 now of the first season.    5 episodes are kept on Hulu, but as of right now you can still watch the pilot on FX's website. 

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via @DamonLindelof who I assume is trying to keep the Lost finale in perspective:

The 7 Most Soul-Crushing Series Finales in TV History

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TV - The End of Lost: Realistic Expectations

There has been a vast outcry regarding my lack of Lost posts so I'm here to placate the masses  (hi Tony!).  Read on!

A lot of people in the blogosphere are super pissy right now about LOST (and a lot of people are with me – really content with how the finale season is playing out.  But, you know, the naysayers are always the loudest).   They want more answers faster and they want every answer to every mythological nugget that has been presented in the past 6 years, and they want the reveals to be utterly mind-blowing. 

I feel a little sorry for these viewers because they just are not going to be satisfied.  Like I said, I am very content with how this season is progressing.  I feel like we’re on a solid path and that I’m going to be at peace with how this show ends.  What keeps me focused and calm?: Realistic expectations.  Here’s what I think is important when considering the answers to Lost:

The answers are going to be kind of vague:

A lot of the naysayers are going to be left unsatisfied because they don’t appreciate the answers they’re given.  They want every element of every mystery explained, leaving no room for drawing our own viewer conclusions.

Take The Numbers: we’ve learned that each of the candidates for who will take over Jacob’s jobbie have been assigned a number.  The numbers correspond to the degrees on the lighthouse dial that show the candidates’ off-Island homelands (I think).   For me, this is good enough.   Why these particular numbers and how did Jacob come up with them?  Well, I’m curious as to how Jacob found the castaways and decided they warranted touching, but I don’t care why Hugo is #8 and not #23.  For some aspects, you’re going to have to use your imagination.  And thank goodness for that, because it’s those kinds of brain-teasers that keep the show alive after it’s concluded. 

I earnestly believe that people who want more explained for them regarding the mythology of the show are going to have the opportunity to learn more in another medium.  (See the game “The Lost Experience” illustrating how the numbers are linked to “The Valenzetti Equation” and The Dharama Initative.)  There is also “Lost University” (a blue-ray educational experience) and the creators have deemed both of these other forums canon.  And I totally think a post-Lost graphic novel explaining more aspects of the mythology (not the character stories) is a distinct possibility.  But as for hashing out relevant physics theorems, Greek mythology, and Egyptian hieroglyphics decoding- it just isn’t going to happen on network television.

The answers are going to be accessible:

This may seem like a weird statement, considering we’re talking about a show involving time-travel, parallel universes, and smoke monsters.  But what I mean is that whatever this show is about is going to be able to be explained over coffee.  You’re not going to need a calculator or a master’s degree or to have to read a thousand and ten lostpedia entries in order to grasp it all. 

One of my favorite lost bloggers, Entertainment Weekly’s “Doc” Jensen, has totally melted his brain coming up with the most cockamamie theories and I hope he’s having fun because it’s just totally coo-coo-clock rambling.   He dedicated a 10-page column recently to a theory that the Smoke Monster / Man in Black is actually the embodiment of all the souls of the people who have died on the Island – with Juliet and Daniel Faraday’s minds primarily driving his ship.  What?!  I think it’s really obvious that the MIB is a person – a special person – but a person with human motivations.  Look at the history of Richard Alpert: his narrative is full of mythology and fantasy, but it still is a narrative based on emotions, not science fiction.  I know the answers to Lost aren’t going to be simple, or easy to explain to someone who never saw the show, but I honestly believe it’s going to be able to be boiled down to a one-pager.  Does that make sense?  Is it irony that I can’t clearly explain my theory that Lost will be able to be clearly explained?

The answers are going to be “schmoopy”:

In our house, schmoopy means gushy.  Sentimental and fluffy, in a sense.  Maybe a little corny.  Think about all of the talk in “Harry Potter” about how Voldemort could be beaten because he never knew truelove.  Or all of Battlestar Gallactica’s talk about God and the dangers of human decadence.   It’s good stuff, but it’s also a little cornball.   I’m expecting this when it comes to Lost’s conclusion.  At some point I think there’s going to be a speech regarding the importance of love and acceptance, or salvation, or trusting fate – something like that. And I’m glad I’m prepared, because those types of speeches can be a little off-putting when you’re not in the right headspace.

This is a story about characters.  It is not a story about an Island where lots of crazy scientific stuff is happening. I think with each introduction of another wacky element to the Island (electromagnetism, etc…) there were viewers who were more married to the mythology than to the characters, and they are going to have their hearts broken.  These are the people who thought the smoke monster was nanobots.  It’s not nanobots, nerds!  It’s an angry dude! 

Take a look at this paragraph from a previous post I wrote comparing Lost to Stephen King's "The Stand":

I would say the main thing I learned about Lost after reading this book is that Team Darlton share King's sentiment that mythology should only be the background for a story about character-development. "The Stand" ended with a solid understanding that the characters faced their faults and gained peace in their sense-of-self. They were presented with opportunities to receive redemption, and those that embraced them gained comfort. The conclusion did not address any of the questions that arose from the mythological experiences. Why were these people the survivors? Who exactly are Mother Abigail and Randall Flagg? We have a sense at the answers, but much much much is left to interpretation. I fear Lost will end in a similar fashion, but I also think the fan involvement with the show will shape it in such a way that more questions will be answered than would be if King was at the helm.

I like that past-Jenna.  She’s smart. 

So, bottom-line (too late I know) is that if you think Lost is going to end with a man in a white lab-coat conducting a two-hour long Power Point presentation explaining every last exhaustive detail – I truly hope you’re wrong.  It’s going to end, it’s going to be about humanity – not science – and we’re going to be left to our own imaginations when it comes to connecting some of the dots.  Thank goodness for that because I like using my brain, and it’s a way to keep the show alive after it’s all over. 

We can just hope that they conclude the basic, essential story-elements and we’re not left completely on our own to imagine an ending – like The Sopranos.   “Don’t stah- BLACK SCREEN.”  

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Project Runway - 4/1/2010

So, it's been awhile. Probably no one is reading anymore. Anyway, Project Runway was crazy last night. Seriously, crazy.


So, last night, the challenge was to design a red carpet dress for, guess who?, Heidi Klum. They acted like it was a huge deal to have the designers design something for Heidi, but I'm pretty sure they did that last season as well. It was cute once. Now it just seems like she is making Project Runway into her own little sweatshop.

So, while the designers are sketching, prior to going to buy fabric, Maya just disappears from the room. She comes back with Tim to announce that she's pulling out of the competition. I was waiting for her to say that her mom died, or she was diagnosed with cancer or something. Instead, apparently, she just didn't think she was ready to continue any further. She wasn't confident that she knew who she was as an artist (to borrow a phrase from American Idol), and she didn't want to continue.

Now, on one hand, I totally understand. She received a critique a couple of weeks ago that she was too referential and that it would be really destructive for her to show her work only to have people say, "That looks just like X." So, I could see how she would be worried about continuing in the competition and having her career damaged because, even though she makes great clothes, people think she is a copycat. Plus, it takes some guts to pull out of a competition like that when you know that it's going to be on national television and people are going to label you a quitter.

On the other hand, she must be crazy. I really liked most of her stuff, and I think she was one of the better designers left. She very easily could have made it to the finals. I almost feel like, if her concern was that she was too referential, she should have just taken crazy risks and made totally innovative garments, even if they weren't as good as some of her other stuff, instead of just dropping out. It could have been a good learning opportunity to just basically throw out everything she thought she knew about her own style and get some critiques from Heidi & Co. and then just get auf'd like everyone else.

Then, to take Maya's place, they brought Anthony back. I really thought he would just be a huge mess, because he would be stressed and he would get less sleep than the other designers, but his dress was gorgeous and he ended up co-winning.

Emilio, the other co-winner, was less deserving, in my opinion. It was a pretty dress and I appreciate the fact that he made the dress properly by making the boning, etc. But that little tab on the side looked like the thing on the back of shoes. To me, there was nothing really special about the dress. It was just a pretty dress. I think someone else said that Seth Aaron's dress looked like a dress that the person who was helping hand out the awards would wear. I felt that way about Emilio's dress.

Oh yeah, plus Seth Aaron's model got debo'ed by Donna Karen, so he had to work with a different model he had never used before. They probably would have made a bigger deal about that if Maya hadn't left on the same episode.

I'm not sure there are three people remaining that I think deserve to be at fashion week. I think the judges have gotten rid of more talented people in previous weeks than the people who are remaining. But it is still a million times better than last season, so we will see. Read more!

Lost- "The Substitue" E4S6

This is my first post about LOST in the sixth and final season. Do not read until after you have seen "The Substitue" (Season 6, Episode 4).

Last night’s LOST was fantastic, especially coming off of the slow-paced “What Kate Does” episode. When the Smokey-Possessed-Locke says, “Come with me and I promise I’ll tell you everything,” I think there were fans everywhere who were exhausted from changing sick baby diapers all day saying YESYESYES MOMMY NEEDS THIS. Oh wait, maybe that was just me.

“The Substitute” was the fourth episode of this final season (if you count the 2-hour premiere as two episodes). I’ve held off on writing about the show on this blog because, after being presented with a “flash-sideways” parallel universe storytelling device, a slew of new Temple-dwelling characters, and more questions created than answered, I needed to play wait-and-see. I was not too excited about any of the three things I just mentioned, but now I have re-gained my confidence.

For one, it looks like we’re going to be very reliant on Sawyer. He is broken and sad, and an emotional loose cannon. But since he has nothing to lose, he gets to be our guide leading us towards exposition! Follow Smokey and let’s figure out what this whole Island thing is all about… why not? Turns out Smokey’s going to lead us towards a nifty little cave, showing us a scale weighing a black rock vs. a white rock (reminding me of Greg and my favorite Ralph quote from the Simpsons: “the rat is a symbol for obviousness!”) and, oh yea, a whole slew of names matched with numbers. Most (not Kate) of our castaways have been assigned to THE numbers and have so far remained un-scratched. For a whole look at which names are up there look HERE. It’s interesting! Almost every one of the names that are decipherable can be matched to a character previously seen on Lost.

This episode also gave us some insight into Smokey himself. He was a man, he feels like he’s trapped, he’s super old, and he’s haunted by a dirty blonde Other boy. But this episode also underlined a major pre-exisiting question: is Smokey the good guy or the bad guy? And, consequently, is Jacob good or bad? Obviously there are a slew of people who have sided with Jacob (Ilana, Richard, Temple-Dwellers), but that doesn’t mean that what Smokey represents is necessarily “bad” – maybe what he wants is “bad” for the creepy Island that conducts psychological / anthropological tests but is “good” for people who want to live normal lives.

We know that Smokey is saying Jacob tampered with the castaways’ lives when he groped them in their pasts. Is this a clue to the side-ways world? Are we seeing how life would have progressed had our characters never been touched by Jacob? My current theory is yes, that’s exactly what we’re seeing and at some point the castaways who make it to the finale are going to get a choice: live this Island life existence, or be consciously teleported into this non-Island life. In fact, it already seems that those who die on the Island are having their brains switch over to their sideways bodies. Juliet’s dying words about going Dutch on coffee seem like a sure-fire preview to a sideways storyline, and did you see Locke’s corpse SMILING laying dead on the beach when we just finished seeing how happy his side-ways life is leading?

Sideways world is not perfect: Locke’s still is in a wheelchair, Kate is still a fugitive, and Jack still seems to have daddy issues. However, although it may not be perfect, it is better. The characters seem more at peace and less arrogant. John can laugh when he bites it into his lawn, Kate can run towards someone rather than always running away, and Jack can stomach listening to Locke talk about some spirituality.

But I’m not too attached to my theories. They are just little mind-games to help me get through the week. Mostly I’m just enjoying the ride, fine with being proven wrong, and feeling bitter sweet thinking about how few episodes are left.
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